“I can’t lose my job.”
“And I can’t collapse.”
He opened the door.
“You’ll be fine.”
Then he closed it.
“I can’t lose my job.”
***
That night, Tessa wouldn’t settle unless I held her upright.
Timothy needed another bottle before I finished feeding Tara.
My water sat three feet away, but I couldn’t reach it without waking two of the babies.
I called Ethan.
His phone buzzed through the wall.
He declined the call.
Tessa wouldn’t settle.
I stared at the screen.
Then I looked at the three tiny faces around me.
“All right,” I whispered. “I heard you.”
***
The next morning, I began logging every feeding, diaper change, pumping session, chore, and minute of sleep.
A week later, Ethan walked into the kitchen wearing sunglasses on top of his head.
He placed a printed booking confirmation on the counter.
“I heard you.”
“I booked a trip to Cabo.”
I looked at the paper.
“For us?”
“For me.”
I waited for him to laugh.
He didn’t.
“You booked yourself a vacation?”
“I booked a trip to Cabo.”
“I need to recover.”
“From what?”
“Work. The crying. This house.”
He waved one hand toward the nursery.
“I haven’t slept longer than 40 minutes at a time in six weeks.”
“That’s different.”
“Why?”
“I need to recover.”
“Because this is what you wanted, Kyra.”
“I wanted children,” I said. “I didn’t want to become a single mother while married.”
“I love them.”
“Then help care for them.”
“I can’t help anyone if I fall apart.”
“You haven’t helped anyone while holding yourself together, Ethan.”
“I love them.”
His jaw tightened.
“I’m burned out, Kyra.”
“So am I.”
“I need two weeks. I deserve a proper break.”
I looked at Timothy’s tiny hand curled around my finger.
“Who takes care of me while you’re gone?”
“I’m burned out, Kyra.”
“You’ll manage. Honestly, your hormones are making this bigger than it is.”
I looked down at the baby in my arms.
Three children.
Six weeks old.
A body that still hurt when I stood too quickly.
And a husband packing for the beach.
“Your hormones are making this bigger than it is.”
“No,” I said. “I think I’ve finally started seeing everything for what it is.”
He left the room.
***
That evening, I used our shared tablet to order more diapers.
A message appeared at the top of the screen.
“We’ll meet you at the resort Thursday. Ben already booked his flight.”
Ethan entered the room and froze.
He left the room.
“You invited your friends?”
“Only for a few days.”
“You said you needed to be alone. You called this a solo adventure.”
“I need to be away from all this. That’s what I meant.”
He gestured toward the nursery.
I stood slowly.
“All this has names.”
“You invited your friends?”
“Kyra, don’t start.”
“Say them.”
“What?”
“Our children’s names.”
He rubbed his forehead.
“I know their names.”
“Then say them.”
“Kyra, don’t start.”
“Kyra, I need a break with the guys.”
“You lied.”
“I left out details because I knew you’d react like this.”
***
I picked up my phone.
One of his friends, Ben, answered on the second ring.
“Hey, Kyra. How are the babies?”
“You lied.”
“Did Ethan tell you I was going on this trip?”
“What? No.”
“Did he tell you why he was leaving?”
There was a pause.
“He said you wanted quiet time with the babies, Ky. He said you wanted to bond with them and asked for space.”
I looked around the room.
“What? No.”
Three bassinets.
Two baskets of laundry.
Six bottles waiting to be washed.
“He said that?”
“He said his mother was helping.”
“No one is helping.”
Two baskets of laundry.
After a silence, Ben said, “Kyra, I didn’t know.”
“Now you do,” I replied before ending the call.
***
Only after all three babies were asleep did I walk into the guest room.
Ethan’s suitcase lay open on the bed.
His resort shirts were folded in neat rows. His swimming trunks sat beside new sandals. His toiletries filled one side pocket.
“Kyra, I didn’t know.”
I hung his resort clothes back in the closet and packed the unopened earplugs, sleep mask, parenting book, fatherhood shirt, one week of my feeding logs, and the barbecue photo.
On the back, I wrote:
“Your audience is waiting.”
I left him one clean outfit and basic toiletries. I wanted him exposed, not stranded.
“Your audience is waiting.”
Then I placed one more note on top.
“You survived six weeks by leaving every hard part to me. Congratulations.”
I zipped the suitcase.
***
The next morning, Ethan kissed my cheek and wheeled it toward the door.
“Try not to stay angry the whole time I’m gone.”
I adjusted Tara’s blanket.
“Congratulations.”
“Try not to mistake consequences for anger.”
He frowned, didn’t check the suitcase, and picked up his wallet.
Then he left.
***
At four that afternoon, he called screaming.
As Timothy finished his bottle, I listened to Ethan rage from his resort room.
“Marcus and Ben saw everything!”
He called screaming.
“I know.”
“You planned this.”
“Yes, Ethan.”
“You had no right to drag my friends into our marriage.”
“You invited them on your fake solo trip.”
“I told them I needed a break.”
“You planned this.”
“You left your recovering wife with three newborns.”
“I deserve time away.”
“And I deserved a partner.”
Marcus spoke behind him.
“You told her she wanted you to leave?”