My son seemed unusually interested in whether I ate his gift. I told him someone else had enjoyed it instead. The sudden silence on the phone changed everything.

“You could have asked me for help.”

“You would’ve said no.”

“You never gave me the chance.”

Thomas became quiet again. Then he said something that finally destroyed the last instinct I had to protect him.

“It was supposed to be quick. You wouldn’t have suffered.”

I closed my eyes.