I thought leaving was the hardest part—until I checked our accounts and discovered what had been hidden from me.

For her birthday, I asked Sofía what decorations she wanted.

She looked at me as if the answer were obvious.

“Purple balloons.”

So I bought far too many.

Hannah came to the party.

Several children from Sofía’s school came too.

There was spaghetti.

Chocolate cake.

Music.

Laughter.

And no one telling Sofía she mattered less because she was a girl.

When she opened her presents, one of them was a doll.

She held it against her chest.

Then she looked at me.

“Mom?”

“Yes?”

“This one is mine, right?”

I knew exactly what she meant.

I knelt beside her.

“Yes.”

“And I don’t have to give it to someone because they’re a boy?”

“No.”

She thought about that.

“But I can share if I want?”

I smiled.

“Exactly.”

She hugged the doll.

Then, five minutes later, she willingly let one of her friends play with it.

I watched from across the room.

That was the difference Teresa had never understood.

Sharing means choosing to give.

It doesn’t mean being frightened into surrendering something.

Later, after everyone had gone home, I was cleaning chocolate frosting from the kitchen counter when my phone buzzed.