He lowered himself into a chair.
“It’s complicated.”
“How often do you see Mia?”
“How often?”
“Sometimes.”
“Once a month?”
He hesitated.
“Maybe twice.”
I watched his face.
Seven years with someone teaches you things no shared password could.
“Once a month?”
I knew when Ethan was leaving out the part he hoped I wouldn’t ask about.
“I want Lauren’s number.”
His head lifted.
“Why?”
“Because I want to hear the truth without you standing in the middle of it.”
“Don’t drag Lauren into our marriage.”
“I want Lauren’s number.”
I stared at him.
“Her daughter’s drawing was in your pocket. I think she’s already involved.”
He looked down.
“Give me the number.”
“Annika, I can explain.”
“You already told me you see her twice a month. I don’t believe you’ll give me the full story, Ethan.”
“Give me the number.”
His face changed.
“Give me the number.”
This time, he did.
***
Lauren agreed to meet me that afternoon.
I left the twins with my neighbor again. Usually, I would’ve given her every feeding time. This time, I stopped after showing her the formula.
His face changed.
“Call if you need me.”
“I’ve got them, Annika.”
A week earlier, that would’ve made me nervous.
***
Lauren was already sitting at a corner table, looking almost as nervous as I felt.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“I need facts.”
“I’ve got them, Annika.”
“When did Ethan find out?”
“I called him about 18 months ago.”
“Did he know before?”
“No. I was okay raising Mia on my own. Things got harder when she started asking questions about her dad.”
I believed her.
“How often does he see Mia?”
“When did Ethan find out?”
Lauren looked down at her cup.
I waited.
“Usually once a week.”
“Was the drawing recent?”
“She made it on Saturday.”
Three days before the crash.
Saturday.
Lauren looked down at her cup.
He’d told me he was helping someone from work move.
I leaned back.
“And does Mia know about Atlas and Owen?”
Lauren’s expression softened.
“Yes.”
“What exactly does she know?”
He’d told me he was helping someone.
“Ethan talks about them a lot.”
My stomach tightened.
“She calls them her brothers.”
I stared at her.
“Has she met them at all?”
“No.”
“She calls them her brothers.”
That mattered more than I expected.
“Ethan told her she’d meet them someday,” Lauren continued. “He said he needed to talk to you first.”
I laughed once.
“He had 18 months to speak about this.”
Lauren didn’t defend him.
Good.
“He said he needed to talk to you first.”
“Did you ever ask why I wasn’t around?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
“He said IVF had been hard on you. Then you got pregnant. After the boys were born, he said you were exhausted.”
Another reason. Another version of protecting me without asking me.
“Then you got pregnant.”
Lauren lowered her voice.
“Mia doesn’t know any of this… the secrecy, I mean.”
“I know.”
“Annika, she thinks you know about her. She knows you’re Ethan’s wife and the boys’ mom.”
“She thinks I’m part of the plan?”
Lauren nodded.
“Mia doesn’t know any of this… the secrecy, I mean.”
For one ugly second, I wished Mia had never drawn the picture.
Then I corrected myself.
Not Mia.
The secret.
***
When I got home, Ethan’s mother was in my kitchen holding Atlas.
Ethan had texted that his mother was coming to help, and I’d told my neighbor she could pick up the boys.
Then I corrected myself.
Normally, I’d have been grateful.
Then she noticed Mia’s drawing on the counter, and her face changed.
“Do you know who Mia is?”
Silence.
Ethan appeared behind her.
“Mom.”
“Do you know who Mia is?”
That answered me.
“How long?”
“Six months.”
Something inside me went cold.
“Have you met her?”
She looked toward Ethan.
“Six months.”
“Please answer me.”
“Twice, Annika.”
I took Atlas from her carefully and put him in his seat.
“You met my husband’s daughter before I knew she existed.”
“Annika, I told him to tell you.”
“But you didn’t.”
“Twice, Annika.”
Her face fell.
“No.”
“Thank you for helping with Atlas.”
Then I turned to Ethan.
“Bedroom. Now.”
His mother didn’t follow.
“Bedroom. Now.”
***
Ethan closed the bedroom door behind us.
“You let your mother meet Mia.”
“I needed someone to talk to.”
“You had me.”
“I couldn’t talk to you about Mia without telling you.”
“You let your mother meet Mia.”
“Exactly.”
He looked exhausted.
I didn’t care.
“When were you planning to tell me?”
“After the last IVF cycle.”
“But I got pregnant.”
He looked exhausted.
He nodded.
“Then the pregnancy wore me out. Then the twins came.”
He said nothing.
“There was always going to be something, Ethan.”
“I was scared.”
“Of what?”
“Then the twins came.”
“Of what Mia would mean to you.”
I crossed my arms.
“Say the rest.”
“I watched you go through five years of treatment. I watched you blame yourself every time something failed.”
