“Throw it away.”
I stared at her.
Publicidad
“Are you serious?”
“Please.”
“Throw it away.”
She crossed the kitchen and caught my wrist.
“Throw it away. Let’s pretend it never came.”
I pulled free.
That frightened me more than the box.
“What do you know about this?”
“Nothing that matters now.”
“It mattered to Dad.”
“Annie.”
Publicidad
“What do you know about this?”
“Somebody in Hawaii mailed him something the size of a washing machine three days before he died.”
“It’s not a washing machine.”
I looked at her.
“Then you do know.”
Mom closed her eyes.
I found scissors.
“Don’t.”
“It’s not a washing machine.”
Publicidad
I cut the tape.
“Annie, please.”
I opened the cardboard flaps.
Packing paper covered whatever was inside.
I pulled it away.
Blue paint.
Wood.
I opened the cardboard flaps.
For a moment, I genuinely didn’t understand what I was looking at.
Then I removed the rest of the packing material.
It was a chair.
Publicidad
An old wooden kitchen chair painted blue.
I genuinely didn’t understand what I was looking at.
The paint had worn away along the edges. One leg had been repaired with a darker piece of wood. A black mark scarred the bottom rung as if somebody had once set something hot against it.
I looked at Mom.
She sat down in one of our kitchen chairs.
One leg had been repaired with a darker piece of wood.
Publicidad
Not the blue one.
“What is this?”
She didn’t answer.
I pulled the chair from the box.
It wobbled when I placed it on the floor.
Something had been scratched underneath the seat.
It wobbled when I placed it on the floor.
I tipped it sideways.
One word.
Uneven letters carved deeply into the wood.
GILBERT
Publicidad
I covered my mouth.
Dad’s name.
Not written recently.
Carved there long enough ago that the grooves had darkened with the rest of the wood.
Uneven letters carved deeply into the wood.
“Dad,” I whispered, staring at the chair, “what are we supposed to do with this?”
Mom began crying.
She pressed her fingertips against her eyes and sat there while I waited.
Finally, she said, “That was his chair.”
“Where?”
Publicidad
“In Hawaii.”
Mom began crying.
“I figured that part out.”
She looked at me.
“Your father didn’t grow up the way you think he did.”
***
Life in Dad’s childhood home had become unstable when he was a teenager.
Mom didn’t give me every detail.
“Your father didn’t grow up the way you think he did.”
Publicidad
Dad hadn’t given them to her either.
But for several years, he lived with a foster family.
A crowded house.
Kids coming and going.
Too many shoes by the door.
Too many plates drying beside the sink.
Dad hadn’t given them to her either.
“And that chair?” I asked.
“Kitchen table.” Mom looked at it. “There weren’t enough matching chairs. Gilbert got that blue one.”
“Why keep it?”
Publicidad
“Because it was his.”
Something about the simplicity of that answer stopped me.
Mom told me Dad used to joke that the chair leaned as much as he did.
“Why keep it?”
Nobody formally assigned it to him.
They simply began expecting him to sit there.
Dinner came, and there was a place for Dad.
Breakfast came, and there was a place for Dad.
I thought about the photograph.
I went to the drawer and found it.
Publicidad
They simply began expecting him to sit there.
“Is this them?”
Mom nodded.
I looked again.
For years I’d seen a beach.
Now I noticed the people at the left edge.
Teenagers.
A woman near the cooler.
“Is this them?”
Publicidad
Someone crouched in the sand.
Dad’s thumb had worn the photograph smooth near those tiny figures.
Not over the ocean.
Over them.
“He wasn’t looking at the beach,” I said.
Mom shook her head.
“Not usually.”